Don't Wait to Say It
· Being
A goodbye text from a dying friend, a national park, and a podcast about ice cream reminded me of one thing: don't wait to tell someone they mattered.
[quote:What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it. — C.S. Lewis]
This past week, I headed out on a business trip. Before the meetings started, before the handshakes, the strategy conversations, the airport coffee, and the usual "did I remember my charger?" moments, I had the gift of spending time with family and visiting a national park.
I love national parks btw, especially those out west. The sky feels endless, and the silence somehow says more than words can. You stand there and remember that you are small, but not insignificant. You are not in control, but you are deeply held.
And then my phone buzzed. It was a text from a dear friend who is dying from cancer.
A goodbye text.
A month ago, I had called him and left a message. I wanted to check in. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted him to know the impact he has had on my life. I wanted to say the things we often assume we will have more time to say. But time has a way of reminding us that it is not actually ours to manage.
So there I was, surrounded by epic beauty, carrying a deep sadness. Mountains in front of me. Grief in my chest. Family nearby. A goodbye text in my hand.
At one point, my nephew looked at me and asked, "How are you doing?" Simple question. Not a simple answer. I told him I was sad. Because I was.
But I also felt grateful.
Grateful I had made the call. Grateful I had left the message. Grateful I had told my friend what he meant to me. Grateful he had been part of my life. Grateful for family standing around me. Grateful for the beauty in front of me. Grateful even for the ache, because grief is often evidence that love was real.
Kahlil Gibran wrote, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." I felt that this week. Not as a nice quote on a coffee mug. As something real. Something heavy. Something holy.
When Two Things Are True
We like to think life should arrive one emotion at a time. Joy today. Sadness tomorrow. Gratitude next week. But life rarely works that cleanly.
Sometimes beauty and heartbreak show up together. Sometimes you are standing in one of the most stunning places on earth and your heart is breaking a little. Sometimes you are laughing with family and holding back tears. Sometimes your nephew asks how you are doing, and the most honest answer is, "I'm sad and I'm grateful."
And somehow both are true. That moment has stayed with me this week because it felt like one of the most human moments I've had in a while. Not polished. Not easy. Not wrapped up in a clean lesson. Just real.
Beautiful and painful. Heavy and holy. Sad and grateful.
Eat Your Ice Cream
The next morning, I got in the car and drove to start my meetings. Sarah send me a podcast to listen to with Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel talking about his book, Eat Your Ice Cream: Six Simple Rules for a Long and Healthy Life.
First of all, any health book with "eat your ice cream" in the title has my attention. Finally, a wellness plan I can emotionally support.
But what I really enjoyed was the simplicity of it. His message was not about turning your life into a spreadsheet. It was not about obsessing over every metric, tracking every bite, or biohacking your way into becoming the most optimized person at the party.
Which, let's be honest, does not sound like a super fun party. The message was much simpler. Live wisely. Stay connected. Move your body. Rest. Keep learning. Enjoy your life. And after receiving that text from my friend, those six ideas landed in a very different way.
1: Don't Be a Schmuck
The first rule is basically this: don't do the obviously dumb stuff. Wear the seatbelt. Use the sunscreen. Don't smoke. Don't pretend you are invincible. Don't treat stress, hurry, and exhaustion like they are personality traits.
It sounds simple because it is. But simple does not mean easy. We can spend so much time chasing complicated answers that we forget to do the basic things that protect the life we already have. Not perfectly. None of us are doing that. But intentionally.
2: Don't Be a Misanthrope
This one....Talk to people. Stay connected. Call your people. Tell them what they mean to you.
The research keeps reminding us that strong relationships are one of the clearest predictors of health, happiness, and longevity. Not followers. Not likes. Not another achievement. Relationships.
The people who know your laugh. The people who helped shape you. The people who made you better. The people who need to hear from you before the goodbye text comes. That part of the podcast felt less like information and more like an invitation. Because I had made the call. I had left the message. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that.
3: Don't Be a Dimwit
Keep learning. Keep asking questions. Keep your mind alive. Curiosity keeps us from drifting into autopilot. It keeps us awake. It keeps us engaged with life.
I think that is one of the reasons I love creative work so much. Creativity asks us to notice. To wonder. To stay open. To not assume we have seen all there is to see.
And standing in that national park, I felt that again. Wonder is not childish. Wonder is medicine. It interrupts our hurry and reminds us that life is bigger than our inbox.
4: Don't Be a Glutton
Eat reasonably, but enjoy your life. Yes, eat the vegetables. Yes, drink the water. Yes, maybe don't make gas station nachos a core food group, even though on a road trip they can be strangely persuasive.
But also eat the ice cream. There is something deeply human about enjoyment. A shared meal. A small treat. A table full of stories. A bite of something that makes you pause for half a second.
Life is not meant to be endured perfectly. It is meant to be lived fully. That does not mean reckless. It means awake. Grateful. Present enough to taste what is good while it is in front of you.
5: Don't Be a Couch Potato
Move your body. Walk. Stretch. Lift. Get outside. Take the stairs. Use the body you have while you have it. Movement is not just about fitness. It changes our mood. It clears our head. It helps us return to ourselves.
That morning drive reminded me how much our bodies carry. Grief is not just a thought. Gratitude is not just an idea. We feel these things in our chest, our shoulders, our breath, our stomach. Sometimes a walk is not exercise. Sometimes a walk is how your soul catches up.
6: Don't Be a Sheep Counter