The Intelligence to Adapt
· Leadership
"Maybe it's not about having the answer… maybe it's about being willing to adjust." What if the smartest thing you can do isn't hold your ground — but adjust your footing?
[quote:Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. — Stephen Hawking]
It Happened This Morning
So far, 2026 has already brought a lot. The loss of a loved one. Some unexpected conflict. New beginnings we weren't quite ready for. And a handful of moments that just force you to grow up a little, whether you want to or not. And this morning, right in the middle of all of that, Sarah and I sat down to record the first episode of season two of Running Ahrens.
Nothing fancy. Coffee getting cold. Mics on. A couple notes sitting there that we both knew we probably wouldn't follow. Just a conversation.
And somewhere in the middle of it, she said something that I almost missed. Not because it wasn't important… but because it was quiet. The kind of comment that doesn't demand your attention… but if you catch it, you know it matters. So I didn't interrupt. I just reached over, grabbed a pen, and wrote it down.
She said: "Maybe it's not about having the answer… maybe it's about being willing to adjust."
And I just sat there for a second. Because I knew I wanted to write about this.
The Part I Keep Bumping Into
If I'm honest, I still want to be the guy with the answer in some situations. I like knowing. I like having a plan. I like walking into a room feeling like I can bring clarity when things feel messy. That's been part of how I've wired myself for a long time. But lately… that hasn't been what's needed.
And I can feel it.
Where It Shows Up
There have been a handful of moments just this week. Nothing dramatic. Just small, everyday things. A conversation at home that didn't land. A moment where I knew I was saying something "right"… but it wasn't reaching the person in front of me.
And my instinct in those moments? Lean in harder. Say it again. Tighten it up. Explain it better. Because in my head, I'm thinking… this should work. But sitting there this morning, hearing Sarah say that I realized something I didn't really want to admit: It's not that I don't have good answers.
It's that I'm trying to use them in moments where they don't fit anymore.
What I'm Starting to See
Because things change. People change. Situations change. What someone needs from you changes. And sometimes the smartest thing you can do is not hold your ground.
It's adjust your footing.
This Isn't New
This idea has been around forever. The Stoics talked about it in a way that still feels uncomfortably relevant. Epictetus basically said, stop arguing with reality. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself that the obstacle isn't in the way… it is the way.
I don't naturally love either of those thoughts. But I keep finding out they're true.
The People I'm Watching
The people I respect most right now…aren't the ones who always have the best answer.
They're the ones who are paying attention. They notice when something shifts. They sense when something's off. They're willing to change direction without needing to make a big announcement about it.
They just… adjust. And it creates trust.
Where This Gets Real for Me
Honestly, this shows up most at home. My kids are growing into who they're becoming. And if I'm not careful, I find myself responding to who they were.
Same thing with friendships. You can't keep showing up the same way and expect the relationship to stay connected. People go through things. They carry more than you can see. They change in ways they don't always know how to explain.
And if I'm not paying attention…I miss it.
What I'm Learning (Slowly)
There's a line from Anthony de Mello that I wrote down a while ago and keep coming back to:
[quote:Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one's awareness. — Anthony de Mello]
Not knowledge. Awareness. Seeing what's actually happening… not what I think should be happening.
What I'm Trying
So here's what I'm working on right now. Nothing revolutionary. Just small shifts. Pause when something feels off. Listen a little longer than I want to. Let go of needing to be right in the moment. Because most of the time being right isn't what's needed.
Being present is.
The Question I Wrote Down While Writing This
Where am I holding on… when I might need to adjust?
And Honestly… This Part Is Pretty Cool
I've been talking about this book for what feels like forever. And now it's real. After some starts and stops with publishers the book is at the printer. Which feels equal parts exciting and a little surreal.
If you want to follow along, see what's coming next, or be part of this as it gets out into the world, you can check it out here: 👉 https://www.behumankind.today/